Office of the University Registrar

September 15, 2020

Totally Rad

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Private detective: Where’s principal Skinner’s office?
Groundskeeper Willie: Wait a minute. You can’t just walk in there.

Private detective: You know, you’re the spitting image of the Aberdeen strangler.
Groundskeeper Willie: Carry on. [leaves, whistling]

Moe: Well the only way I can recoup from this is… [takes out a can of gas, pours it all over his bar, and throws and lighted match on it]
Carl: Um, aren’t you supposed to get insurance first?
Moe: Oh crap. [while listening to a football game on a Walkman in church]
Homer: Please, please, please, please… Sportscaster: Yes, it’s good. Homer: IT’S GOOD. IT’S GOOD. IT’S GOOD. It’s… good to see you all today.

Bart: [slapping Lisa] Don’t hit Maggie. She’s just a baby.
Homer: [slapping Bart] Don’t hit Lisa. She’s a girl.
Grampa: [slapping Homer] Keep your hands off of him Homer!